It must have been a panic attack. I got really upset about things in my life. I had no idea how much worse they could get. The facility they took me to was supposed to provide me with help. Instead OT just helped himself. I don't remember being transported to his special dungeon. I just remember waking up and feeling groggy.

Once I realized what was going on... That I wasn't going to get the help I needed... Rather that I was going to serve the sadistic whims of a madman I did my best to play along. I took his torments. I participated in his horrific sexual experimentations. I let him touch me. I let him put his fat fingers inside my asshole.

I thought I was crazy. I thought I needed help. I guess I was wrong. All I needed was to find the right person to touch me in the right ways.